Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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