It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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