Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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