Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
