I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
