when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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