yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
