she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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