I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
