Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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