It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize