i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
