she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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