Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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