She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
