I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
