You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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