i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
