I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
