What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
