I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
