I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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