Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
