Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
