the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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