PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
