is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
