Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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