I want to stick my p in your. b.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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