Whod you bang
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
