This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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