So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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