It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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