so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize