your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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