Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
