Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
