If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
