first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sarcasm needs its own font
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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