Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
