Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
