I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
