White coat. Heels.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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