The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
