butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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