..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
