Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
