This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
