and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
