if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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