why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
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