We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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