The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
