mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
