You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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