just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
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You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
