P.S. I can't hear my feet
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
