Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
