I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
