Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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